Statistics....

...sucks!

I'm sitting in the math lab trying to finish up this homework by Saturday. I can't use my math program on my raggedy mac so I have to either print my work out and do it by hand, without the help, or stay at school all late to finish it. So since I have nothing to do, I'm gonna stay here and at least finish one section.

I overslept today and missed my first class. I really would've gotten up, but I was dead. I didn't think it was safe to drive to class as loopy as I was.

Not much else going on in the world of Brittany, school is winding down so I need to really get focused. I need AT LEAST all B's to boost my GPA. If I get all A's in summer school, I will really be straight.

I just have to actually do it. This will be a STUDY STUDY STUDY weekend.

My new project is studying for the GRE exam. I need to take this like once, get at least 1000 and be done. That test is 140 dollars! That's my car note!

I've been on a DeBarge kick lately, here's a video I found....This is from Motown 25 back in 83. Three years before I was born. I stan for James DeBarge, the one with the white shirt and black pants! And El. I wish they would get it together!

More later!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfoK8uzfKkQ

What I like about "M"

So me and "M" are getting things together. We finally figured out what was wrong with the relationship.  Both of us weren't clear about what we wanted from the other person. When we talked about what we expected from each other since he's gone I know I felt a lot better about the long distance relationship. But I still miss him....He got it set up so he can call me from his computer now. I was so not expecting that phone call, I smiled like a little girl while I was talking to him. E-mails and Facebook are so not the business.

One thing I can't stand is a dude who constantly brags. I like to hear good news from my friends but some of them take it to the extreme. Especially when they put it on Facebook or Myspace. 

When you put your business on the internet like that, and brag about your "stacks" in the mattress all you're doing is setting yourself up for a 211 in my book. Especially these lames in this city. That's what I like about "M". He's used to working hard and having things, but he doesn't talk about it 24/7. He just tries to give back and do things to make this world a better place. 

I have got to get out of this fishbowl called LOUISVILLE! Niggas here think making 12 dollars an hour is enough to live off of forever. I'm not knocking anyones hustle, but reach higher! 12 dollars an hour isn't enough for me now and I'm single with no kids. It's hard to pay a car note, save, pay for school, gas and other necessary things.

I guess my point is to never settle. NEVER SETTLE. 

Get a life.

So the Louisville Cardinals lost in the Elite Eight today. I'm a Kentucky fan so normally I don't like to see Louisville do well. But they played a damn good season so I had to give them props. 

What's killing me is the face that niggas want to be all hostile just because a damn basketball team lost. I've heard of people actually fist fighting over a damn game. College educated MEN fighting over a game. 

Like, are you serious?

Do you think any of those players would fight for you? Hell to the no! They are already planning their next move and your dumb ass is sitting in jail over a game.

And don't get me started about how UK is a racist team and no black person should like them. I've heard from so many people, many of whom have never stepped foot on a college campus, that "UK is a racist school, don't cheer for them" "They don't admit blacks" and bullshit like that. 

Bullshit.

In all honesty, 99% of predominantly WHITE schools have some kind of a racist background, including U of L. So all of the crap I hear about why I shouldn't cheer for a damn sports team is irrelevant to me. I get sick of hearing that UK doesn't admit blacks. I know a slew of them that attended and GRADUATED from the school. People my age and older. This is what I wanna know about the people who bitch and moan about its admission policy.

Did you apply? Did you get rejected? Did you ever think that it was because you are not QUALIFIED? Did you even graduate from high school? Tell us why you're really mad!? 

I cheer for a sports team. Not for school admission practices. I wish people were as passionate about uplifting these kids out here as they are about basketball. People can talk about how fucked up it is out here, but half the people I hear talk about it, don't do shit. You can talk all day about how blacks need to step it up and do better, but what part are you going to play in that? You say you don't know any black professionals, well clean yourself up and get out here and meet some. Expand your horizons a bit. If you're intimidated, figure out what the problem is, work on it and meet some people. My mother went to a college that has a long racist history (Ole Miss) and she still managed to make valuable contacts and she does not dwell on the things she went through. And this was in the mid-80's. She saw Klan rallies like we see pep rallies. 

Me and a few of my friends are in the planning/fund raising stages of putting together a local mentoring group for teenage girls and eventually boys that will allow us to draw on personal experiences in order to help them not make the same mistakes as we did. We plan on pulling in prominent members of our community to help us achieve our goals. So forgive me if I have to laugh at the time people waste bringing up old shit. This is what I care about:

I care about the young woman who was killed in broad daylight last week.

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200990324032

I care about the 17 year old who was killed last week.

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009903260400

I care about the kids who can't walk to the store around here anymore without seeing drug transactions. I care about the kids who have dope fiend mothers who don't give a shit. I care about the kids who can't get a good education because the schools are crap here.  I care about 14 year old girls searching for love getting pregnant and AIDS and shit from these nasty ass GROWN men. I care about the fact that kids are out here killing kids. 

So forgive me for not giving TWO FUCKS about a damn basketball team's racist past. Or the fact that Adolph Rupp was a racist and I shouldn't like UK because of a man who has been dead damn near 40 years! I can't dwell on the past, I'm fighting the battle for our future, while remembering the past. 

The shit does not affect my cash flow, my education or my family. With that being said...

Get a damn life!!

20somethingness

Since I'm a college student I am surrounded by all types of men who are working towards the same goals that I strive for. I love seeing men get their study on and handle business and whatever but for some reason...

Some of them turn me off. 

It seems like all of the so called "decent" guys are corny as hell. 

I went on a date with a guy from school and I was just like ugh. It's hard to explain. Why can't I find a guy like me. From the hood, and wants to do better. I don't like all the posing that some of these guys try to do. Just because you are in school and doing well, you don't have to dress a certain way.

I like an authentic man. One who does him. One who does not let what he does define him. I need a little hood *i hate this word* swagger to him. I can't deal with a man who can't relate to me. 

Finding what I want is like finding a needle in a haystack!

Job # 16

So I'm 22 and I have had 15 jobs in the past 7.5 years. I know it sounds bad, but I worked most of the simultaneously. I'm currently looking for job # 16.

Normally I can apply somewhere and get a call back in less than a week. I've been applying for almost a month now, doing follow up calls and everything. No luck. the recession has finally affected Britt. I have pretty much depleted my savings because of school costs, and car emergencies so I'm assed out.

I can't complain, I have a decent job @ the bank, but it's only three days a week and 6 hours a day. And even though I get paid a nice hourly rate for the shit I don't do, I need more. Summer school will be damn near 2 stacks. I need my breaks fixed on the grand prix. I need to buy some summer clothes since my fat ass will clearly not be able to fit into my 10's and 12's this year. I NEED TO MOVE OUT!  I HATE being (almost) dependent on my mother. I know she loves it because she has (a little) control over me but this shit is NOT cool. I haven't had to ask her for much since I was 15. It kills me to ask her for a little gas money when times get hard.

I'm blessed that I have a mother who can give sometimes because some people aren't so fortunate. She hasn't always had it to give. We used to be homeless when I was in 6th grade. We lived in the hospital that she worked in. She still works there. When I was younger i didn't think about it but I'm sure it killed her to wake up and be in the same place that she worked day after day. We did that from October 1997 to April 1998. On payday we stayed at a hotel for a week, then we went back to the hospital for a week. I went to school with wrinkled clothes, messed up hair. I used to be so tired. I damn near failed. But she got a big raise and my uncle and her combined their tax money for rent and a deposit on an apartment. And we never looked back.

I got sidetracked....

But I need a freakin job! Something flexible because I have to take 18 credit hours the next two semesters. Help!

I Like It!

So I said I was gonna blog today so I am. 

I have worked like 15 jobs in 7 years so I think I am going to make a list of things I've learned/or found out about people from them. Here goes.

10. Cake decorating will give you carpal tunnel and a fat belly. Trust.

9. Kids are crazy and so are their parents. 

8. Working at starbucks will make you fat. 

7. Working at Kroger will make you miserable.

6. Working at a bank will make you even more miserable.

5. Getting chased out of the bathroom by three studs is not a good way to start a job.

4. You can see celebrities at starbucks during the derby. Carson Daly is kinda hot.

3. People will send you death threats if you don't process their checks lol.

2. Cake decorating is fun and I really should go back to it.

1. SIGN YOUR DAMN CHECKS PEOPLE! I am the end all, be all in the check processing department. I let nothing past me.

More later.

12:39 AM

so i'm really gonna post tomorrow. seriously. right now i'm gonna get in bed and watch hav plenty. night.