Reflecting on 2007...

2007 has been a CRAZY year for me. I have been through so much this year, that I am SOOOO ready for 2008 to come. I've been through a crazy relationship, I've had school problems, work problems and family problems. I am ready for some major changes to come my way. I am going to be totally in control of my life in 2008.

First off: I'm gonna get my academics right.
I slacked off so bad this year. I was so caught up on my relationship, and making money that I put school on the back burner. This year I have got to get my GPA up to a 3.5 so I can definitely get into the school of education. I have to focus on my future. I am the only one who can do that.

Second: I am not going back to any man who treated me bad, disrespected me or did anything to me that I didn't deserve. It's time for me to make a clean break from all of the negativity in my life and start focusing on making myself a better person. I have finally learned that you can't make someone love you if they don't and that YOU have to be happy with yourself before you can make anyone else happy. Those words sounded so cliche to me when I was younger but I fully understand them now.

Third: This should have been first but oh well. I really want to strengthen my relationships with two people. God and my mama. I feel like I've gotten away from my mom so much since I've been out of high school. I guess it's because I don't want her to judge me for the things that I have done, but I have to realize that she is my mother, the reason why I am here and if ANYONE is always gonna be down for me it's gonna be her.

I also want to reestablish my relationship with the Lord. I have gotten away from talking to him and listening to him and I see how my life has gotten off track. I just want to stop relying on outside people and put 100% of my trust back in Him.

That's pretty much all for me. I'm just about to make some major changes in 2008. I'm a grown woman now, and it's time for me to act like it!

Who the heck writes checks anymore????

Ok...I still write checks. I pay bills with them. I usually mail those bills. But I didn't think that people used checks...at the U-scan at krogers. WTF???!!! I felt like I was in that VISA commercial when everything was moving fast and then that one person uses cash or check. My mom was in the car, not feeling well after getting some tests done and this lady holds up the full u-scan line with this check. I was so glad to get home. But I am thankful that I had the money to buy what we needed...some people don't have that opportunity. Holla!

It's OVER!!!

It's been a while, but I have been soo busy studying for finals. And not that I got tonsillitis right smack in the middle of finals!!! I was already screwed cuz I did nothing all semester, but I got sick right when I was going to be able to redeem myself. Oh well, better luck next semester.

Anyhoo, things are a bust with dude from class that I liked. I think he has a girl. I don't deal with men who are in relationships anymore. I learned my lesson. But some females just make you want to do shit to piss them off.

Example. I used to kinda date this guy all during high school. I never knew that he had a girlfriend until our senior year. I was pissed. But he still continued to call, so I continued to talk to him. Well right after graduation, I get a phone call from his girl. She says the usual, "Bitch leave my man alone, blah blah blah" and I reply with "Bitch keep your man in control and he won't be coming over here". Keep in mind this all happened in 2004.

So he and I continue to mess around until the end of the year, and after the girl calls me again, I leave him alone. We don't talk until this past May when he got my number from a mutual friend. He calls me trying to run the same game (trying to get some) and I refuse. He tells me that he is engaged to the old girlfriend but he still steps out on her. He then tells me that she still asks him about me 3 freaking years after the fact. I'm like WTF??!!! Insecurity is a bitch. Get over it!!! I don't see how chicks can hold on to shit for so long. She's a dumb broad for staying with him, aint NO nigga ready to tell me he cheated on me with over 10 girls during our relationship and expect me to stay like everything is cool. AIDS is out there you feel me!

Anyways, I stop taking his calls after this but I find him on myspace back in like October. We exchange a few friendly messages, I just asked what he was up to and he did the same. After exchanging about 3 messages a piece I was done talking to him. So one day I log on and she had sent me a message from his profile cursing me out and shit. I was like WOW. I really get to her like that. It's kinda sad, because he told me back in May that she was very insecure and that would be the only reason why he wouldn't marry her. But in a way, I'm glad that I left him alone back then. Too much drama.

So Brittany is about to enjoy her winter break, make some money and spend time with those that I have been neglecting this year. I need to relax!!!

What What??!!

Had to post this...After watching this, I have laughed enough for a week.




Samwell - What What

RIP

Hope everyone had a good thanksgiving! Mine wasn't too hot, my uncle that I wrote about in my last post passed thanksgiving night. The funeral is tomorrow and I can't make it because of finals coming up and this major group project that I have to present. I really hate it, but I'm glad that I got to see him before he passed.

Pray for me during finals!

It's been a while...

My bad for not writing more (well not that anyone reads this thing) but in case someone does, it's been crazy! I am so glad that this year is coming to a close. I learned so much in 2007, I finally feel like I am honestly a grown up now. One major lesson that I have learned is not to settle for less that what I deserve. I so realize that now. The person that I thought would always be my #1, the man that I had put all of my time and energy into for over two years, turned on me over some he said, she said mess. Most people call me picky about my men, but I have a darn good reason. I REFUSE to settle for a man who does not treat me with respect, who is not honest with me even when it makes me mad, who does not value me and and listen to my innermost dreams and concerns and thoughts. I want a man in my life who gives back what I give to him, and then some. I feel like I have given so much to people and it has left me feeling empty. That's why I'm focused on doing ME right now. I want to fill myself up before I can give anything else out.

**Random thought**
Why did 7 police cars just fly down my wet street? One of them almost hit the Camry. I love my lil car, I would have acted up if my mirror was on the ground in the morning.
**I'm done**

But Brittany needs to do what makes HER happy. Not what some man likes. With the last guy that I dated, I felt like I had to be someone else in order for him and his family to accept me. I understand that around his moms and stuff that I can't curse or wear my leopard print booty shorts, but I refuse to change the person that I am because of YOUR standards. A strong, educated, beautiful black woman raised me right. So if you don't like me, sorry for ya.

**Random thought 2**
I see a fire truck now. And a bunch of people hopping out of cars and stuff. Uh-oh. I hate living in the hood I swear. I can't defend it any longer.
**done**

I wanna give a big hug to my Uncle Clayton. He is battling bone cancer right now and they don't think he is going to make it much longer. He was always my favorite uncle, he was my grandfathers' younger brother and he was the glue that kept our family together. He took over as a father role for my mom and a grandad role for me after my grandfather passed in 1995. I am going to miss him so much!

Happy Thanksgiving to all, I have so much to be thankful for, my health, my family, my abilities. GOD IS GOOD!!!

See ya xoxoxox

Love...

I was browsing through my favorites on my computer and I came across this beautiful slide show...this man really did it big for his lady!

http://www.photosbyknight.com/gray/

Not that this is what I want from a guy when I get proposed to but it was just beautiful to see how deeply this man cared for her and the lengths that he went to in order to make this a special day for her. I was also impressed with the details...gold dipped roses? Nice.

But however you want to express your love for someone, make sure that it is sincere and honest, and the other person will feel as if they won a million dollars. Whether you propose in the park on a Sunday afternoon, or you throw a big party for the whole family, if you do it right...with the right person...everything else will melt away and all that matters will be the two of you...

I'm back!

It's been a little while but my life has been CRAZY over the past 2 weeks. Last weekend, my mom and I went to Memphis to visit my uncle. He was supposed to be a home resting but he was admitted to the hospital the day that we arrived. He is not doing so well and it really sucks because he was the one that took over the "grandfather" role for me after my grandfather (his older brother) passed 12 years ago. I am really going to miss him, but I don't want him suffering. In other news, things are still the same with the "old friend" I so wish I could go see him, but our schedules are just totally opposite. I am going to go to one of his games this season since he is graduating in May =) I am so proud of him, he pulled himself up from nothing and is about to graduate from college and go to grad school. Even hood niggas can come up if they really want it, and he is a prime example! If only my ass could graduate lol...

a day in the life...

i'm bored so i'm gonna do a post about why a typical day is like in my life. i'm boring, so here goes.

6:15 am- wake up. my mom usually comes in and starts taking hair products out of my room around this time so i usually get on up when i hear her.

7:00- leave for work. i work @ starbucks, and my job is 10 mins away. i'm supposed to be there @ 7:30, but i usually stroll in around 7:45. i hate my job.

1pm - leave work. i have class @ 1:25 and i only have to drive 2 mins. to get to school. i usually walk and burn the calories while eating a hot dog from the stand lol.

5:00 - leave school (on mon. and wed.) i'm usually depressed by now, so i meet up with my mom and we go shopping or home.

6:00- get home and watch tv until 9. if i have a date or something i go out around this time. or i make my run to target. i should be doing homework, but that can wait till later.

10:00- finish eating dinner and start my homework. i usually check e-mail around this time, or chat on the phone with my boo thang.

midnight-pass out on my bed which is covered with my laptop, books and papers.

6:15 am- do it all again.

Told you I was boring.
See ya!!!

well well....

So Saturday my oldest and dearest friend came to town for her sister's baby shower. So while the shower was being held, I took calls from my mom at home to find out the status of the UK & LSU game. I'm happy to say that my number 17 wildcats came away with the win over the number one team! After the shower we went to 4th street and met up with some friends who were already going. I had fun, danced the whole time that I was there and ended up meeting up with an old friend after the club =). The weekend was pretty cool. I had to work @ 8am Sunday...so you know I was ready to pass out the whole time I was there. Luckily, I only had to work 8-1. I came home and passed out. I'm on fall break now, and I have a ton of homework. But have I started on it? No. Maybe I'll do it a little later. Man I hate school. I work too much, and I think that is the reason why I am so over schoolwork. I'm a little excite about reconnecting with the old friend the other night...I really like him so hopefully things may work out! Peace!!!

Unappreciated

So...I guess I've been thinking about you-know-who really heavy lately. I'm kinda sad that it's all over, but in a way I am relieved. I guess I should be happy that I didn't waste too much time in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere...but I still miss him. I miss how he smells, I miss how he talks, I miss how he drives....I just miss him. It just seems like I worked so hard for this relationship to work...I really wanted it...but he didn't. And I can understand his reason for doing the things that he did...to a point. I was just trying to be there for him while he was going through all of these things. And he kept pushing me away. And now it's over. I admit, I wasn't perfect in the relationship, but I was always honest. And I always tried. So now it's kinda weird not going out with him, or even calling him anymore. I erased his number from my phone so I wouldn't have to see his name all of the time. But now I want to call him...I don't know what I wanna do!!!!! Help!

The B*tch is Back!!!

So that annoying lady at work is back from vacation. Ahhh!!! Anyhoo, I've been extra busy these past few days. I've been car shopping, catching up on homework and basically doing the things that I need to do. I'm thinking about cutting back at work, I am working 30+ hours a week and taking 16 credit hours at school. Sometimes, I wonder how I have time to have a social life at all. I did go out Saturday night, we went to this club called "Billy's" and I distinctly remember my mom hanging out there with my aunts when I was little. Since I just turned 21, I didn't know what to expect. All I remember is I got one long island ice tea and by the time the cup was half empty, I was doing the cupid shuffle all ass backwards. Then I had to use the restroom so I had to drunkenly navigate myself to the bathroom and wait in line. I almost fell off the toilet lol. When I was leaving the restroom I saw this dude who cut hair across the street from the kroger that I used to do cakes at. He was trying to holla lol. He is like 34! I tried to kick game to him when I worked at the store that he came in because he looked like Bobby Valentino. But I was so messed up I told him to come find me. Can't remember if he did or not...
And not this dude dancing all up on me talking about "I just got out the pen 12 hours ago...i'm trying to stick something" I wiled out on him so quick! Nasty, probably got AIDS. I got my play brother to come over to me and old dude bounced quick. I guess he didn't want to ruin his first night out lol. Well, i'll post more tomorrow. I need to come up with daily themes lol. Holla!

Sanjaya's hair looks better than mine =(

So I was @ the workplace yesterday and we had a long line...as usual. One of our regulars came in and I rang her up and sent her drink order down the line. She decides to start up a conversation with the lady making the drinks and they start looking at pictures. They are just a giggling and meanwhile the drink orders are piling up. I looked their way and saw that the customer was showing Anne (the lady who irritates me at work) a picture of her daughter and Sanjaya from American Idol. I was like "Anne, can you get these drinks made or move out of the way and let me do it?" She and the customer looked at me all sideways like I had just asked them to drop down and get their eagle on. But her arse moved on down the line and Anne got to those drinks. She bothers me sometimes, she acts good and dingy, but she is older than my mom! That lady act like a 12-year-old. Anyways.... we have to do group projects in my Educational Psychology class. I wanted to be in the group with this FINE motorcycle riding dreadlocks having chocolate man...and I got my wish. Too bad our topic is "educational equity" and half of my group mates don't know what "equity" means. SMH. This is gonna be a looonnnnggg semester.

Me + Math 151 = trouble!

So I bombed my math test...no shocker. I hate that class. It was raining, so I couldn't concentrate lol. I went to work today and as usual some crazy stuff popped off. Our head manager threw a box of signing materials at our boss. She went off. Sent him a nasty e-mail talking about how he disrespects us in front of customers. I try to stay out of their mess. This lady at work thinks I hate her. She is a bossy heifer...but she is so not important. She pisses me off because she goes behind me on everything I do. I have started saying "you do it" to her when she asks me to do stuff. I'm not 4 years old...I know how to mop a floor. She's older than my mother though so I "try" to respect her. Try. I'm just so ready to start my career. Starbucks is cool, but I don't see myself there past next spring. I'm trying to get a job at the Board of Education so when a teaching job comes up...they will know who I am! I'm working on my education portfolio so I can have some good references and job experiences to help me out. I'm also learning American Sign Language and Spanish so I can be marketable. Hopefully I can get a TA job in January...keep your fingers crossed. I've been thinking about this guy a lot. We met 2 years ago while working in the mall and we hit it off quickly. He goes to school 2 hours away and he came home last week to take care of some business. We went to dinner and all those felings that I had for him just came out. He is going for his Masters so he will be down there for another two years...but I really want to make this work. He is tall, dark, educated and still hood. We are both about the community and using our education to help our people and I love that about him. I'm going to visit him when I get my new car. Maybe I can put that in his ear. Well I need to study...toodles!

F--- customer service. Feel that!!!

I work @ starbucks. Most people think that it's a good job...and i'll admit...it's pretty cool at times. But some of the things that I hear daily...make me crazy. This man asked me to put 3/4ths of a packet of sweet and low in his tea. Like I really was gonna measure that shit out. Pour it out on the counter and get my razor blade out and chop it up into 4 pieces like it's some cocaine. Boooo! Then he had the nerve to say it was a little too sweet and he asked did I put the whole pack in there. I just looked at his pasty, square lookin ass self. He turned and walked out the door. Most days I laugh at the ignorant requests that I get, but today was not a good day. Maybe I should start a whole new blog about the stuff I hear @ work everyday. White people are hilarious. I love white people, I see them at the family reunions and stuff...but they make me crazy at work. I'm gonna start a new blog with my take on events that happen in Louisville. As soon as I wake up lol.

21

So I turned 21 this past friday and I used that day to really think about the direction that my life is going in. I'm a little over halfway finished with school, and I've finally decided on what my career path is going to be. Things are ok at home, I really want to move out but I have to find a job that pays well and is flexible about my school schedule. Me and you-know-who aren't speaking much but that's ok. I am starting to understand how relationships can be a distraction, especially when they aren't healthy strong relationships. Hopefully one day soon I'll find a guy who is right for me. But I have realized that my time here on earth is very short...and I have got to live life to the fullest. I have to do it big for the people who didn't have a chance to see 21...Nikki & Mike...this is for you!

I wonder?

I wonder why....
...some parents do take the time to teach their kids simple things...like tying shoes
...it's 95 degrees outside...I hate summer
...I can't seem to make any progress with this weight loss thing
...summer camp sucks...almost
...you-know-who acts the way he does
...people are sleeping on this Chrisette Michele CD
...I like that Ciara and 50 song
...that bridge in MN was f--ed up
...I can't fall asleep at night
...I can't find a topic to blog about....

Summer is almost over...

This summer has been...interesting to say the least. My new job turned out to be almost as bad as the one that I left, money is still tight and I have had to pick up a second job to cover bills and still be able to save, and things are still the same with you-know-who. On the flip side, I'm blessed because I have saved enough to be able to get my car by October, I lost 7 pounds and everyone is getting along at my house. I really want to move out, but I guess that can be my goal for next summer. I think I am just gonna leave you-know-who alone for good. I hate getting close to someone and doing all the work to make the relationship work but as soon as an obstacle (like time) arises you wanna throw it all away because you can't juggle more than 2 things at a time. It's always gonna be drama going on in life, you gotta learn how make things work. But oh well, life goes on. I'm gonna try to post more often. I promise.

Schools out!!!

So I'm officially a junior in college...well almost. I'm still a few credits short of officially being a junior but it's all good. This semester has been very challenging to say the least. I'm proud to say that I survived all the madness and I am a better person because of it. I start a new job on the 21st and things are looking up for me!! Hopefully I can get a new car this fall and get through this semester with all A's!!! Pray for me!

Washing my hands...

I have finally realized that if someone doesn't want to be with you...they won't be with you. Nothing you can do will make them stay. No matter if you do things perfectly, if they lose interest it's hard to get it back. So I have to let him go. We have come such a long way, and I hate to just throw it away but if he is supposed to be cool with me...then he will.

#1

Ok, it's my first post and there is really not much going on today. It's raining and I skipped class because I was too lazy to look for an umbrella. (I know, sad.) I am doing some homework so I can stay ahead, school has really been stressing me out this semester. I don't know why, but I have NO motivation. I want to succeed but I just can't find it in me to actually study most of the time. Part of it is the face that I have to wake up @ 5 to be at work by 6:30 or 7, and by the time I leave work and go to class for 3 hours I'm dead. So I take a nap, wake up at like 7, eat dinner and go back to bed. I really need to get this together...